Will you pick up my pieces?

Finally

2008-06-25T08:06:00.000-07:00

Hey all, I have finally managed to import my blogs from Friendster, an act I had procrastinated doing for a long long time. Well, it’s not exactly completed and in order but that’s the best I could do, considering some posts were deleted away without my notice. Blogging, to me, is like a way to express thoughts and feelings for a period and also a fine way to do a recap, should your memory fail you one day. It almost always make me feel better, as if I am telling my life story to many people at one time, although it may not be the case. Thats besides the point.

Beijing Olympics 2008

2008-03-17T01:01:00.000-07:00

We were the only non-Malaysian singers to hav featured in the Malay version of 2008 Beijing Olympic Theme Song!
Enjoy! Feel so honoured to have being invited!

Have you done enough today?

2008-03-16T10:47:00.000-07:00

Of recent, I feel that I’ve wasted a part of my life doing absolutely nothing of significance. The worst of it all, I dun remember most part of it. Life makes a habit of passing you by if you’re not careful enough, just as these few weeks have done for me. I used to nag at friends who seemed to have done nothing all the time but play, I used to remind them to learn something new everyday, to remember a new name perhaps, notice a new person...to be more aware of the surroundings and whatever was happening, be it of importance or not, to WANT TO progress in a positive and right direction. Well, dun get me wrong, I have never tried to get ahead of myself, or to push myself beyond my compabilities, however i feel i’ve slackened such a great deal that I find it hard to mentally bring myself up. I will from now on and I know how to. The best of it all is that i’ve met some nice and crazy frenz! :) Dun let today be your wasted tomorrow.

evoL

2008-03-16T10:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I want to try
Sometimes its hard to cry
Sometimes words betray the mind
Sometimes love detests the lies

A wise man once said how “love is blind”
“It strenghtens the weak, it transcends time”
“Love can move mountains, never let it pass u by”
Wise as he might have been, he only lived one fucking life.

Darren

To my beloved Ah Ma...

2008-02-05T08:01:00.000-08:00

I used to massage for my Ah Ma (Grandma) when I was a child and she, younger. There was one instance where I thumped on her thigh too hard and she said,” So hard for what, you’ll kill Ah Ma by doing that!”, of which I replied,” No la, Ah Ma will never die!” What did a child like me know about living, not to even mention dying. I didn’t believe people close to me would die, well perhaps, but then probably not. No, my immediate family members would never die, or so I thought.
Ah Ma used to call my house (She was staying beside me), and my sis would tell me, “Ah Ma’s voice so loud, oso dun need to use the phone lo.” And we would secretly laugh.
The 1st day the stroke happened, she couldn’t open her eyes nor speak but she could response by gripping with her right hand. It grew progressively worse from then on. The grip was weaker, followed by only some little head movement which we couldn’t be sure if they were responses at all. She left on 2nd Feb, 6.45am.
There I stood, with Ah Ma’s coffin inching closer to the furnace, I realized only till then that I was gona lose her forever, that she wouldn’t be coming back, that I wouldn’t be hearing the voice which I’ve grown so accustomed to. I looked at all the sad faces around me, all the people whom Ah Ma had touched and had a part in their lives. She played the part of a mother, a great grandmother, a dedicated housewife; she was a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend…She was my Ah Ma.
If only Ah Ma could hear me, I would tell her, I can handle the pain so just leave in peace, coz there’s a dark, handsome and tall man waiting for you there, dun keep Ah Gong waiting for so long…Bye Ah Ma, I love you too. Oh btw, I’m gona miss your CNY steamboat.

Me

2008-01-12T08:00:00.000-08:00

When the lights go out, in the stillness of the night, I pray for the morning. It’s tough to fall asleep in the night. It’s hard to remove the traces, every little thing meant something. I beg “me” to cry, “me” holds back its tears, “me” wants to be brave, it’s brave to bear with the unbearable. Either u try to sleep or u wait for dawn, or u even may cry too, it’s ok to cry sometimes.

Pain

2008-01-03T07:59:00.000-08:00

Year 2008…Is it a good start? Not for me. I’ve not experienced such pain for a long time. I tried not to break down yet the emotion was too much to handle. I prayed to God to relieve me of this pain I’m going through. Every passing minute hurts, when I bathe, when I eat, when I watch TV. I’ve told myself, the last time it happened, that I would keep away from such sadness and would never let it anywhere near me, ever again. Now it’s back. I promised myself that I would be happy, I broke that promise. I’m struggling so hard; whatever that’s holding on to me is going to snap. I’m trying to remember how I got over it previously, no answers are coming my way. I’m overwhelmed. I’m breaking down. Please take away my pain…

RIP

2007-07-07T07:59:00.000-07:00

After spending a whole Saturday at home, I did pretty much what one could do on a Saturday, enjoy my 360, sing, work out, snack, nap etc. I surfed the internet and was checking through my friendster when I came upon the account of Ishi from Soul, the guy who had commited suicide, while I was away in Brunei. I missed all the media coverage on the news so I thought probably it was a good time to do some catching up since I’m still awake at 3am. I’m momentarily interrupted by this guy on TV who swallows roaches on Ripley’s, disgusting, followed by this cup stacking kid, amazing! Back to our topic, probably a few of you guys knew him personally, I think it is certainly too late to alter anything now, although few of those who were close to him still think that you could have done something to change the course. It’s sad, even for someone like myself, who hadn’t heard of him as an individual. From all those comments on him, he was probably someone I would like, definitely talented in performing arts, and to sum things up, he wasn’t your average joe. What drove him to it? I don’t know. What I know is that sometimes in life, there are moments where we feel the most vulnerable, be it how successful you are, when these moments come, they tumble on you all the same, all logics thrown out of the window! It all boils down to choice; To take route A or Path B, to stay or leave, to embrace life or to waste it. And the single most important guiding principle to this decision should be, if it is going to hurt your family. I will remember them in my next prayer coz only God can ease these kind of pain. To Ishi whom I never knew, rest in peace.

Crossroad

2007-06-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you come to a crossroad? With only a worn out road sign that gave accurate directions for all, once upon a time, but no longer? Do you move forward, turn right or travel west? Do you look back, miss all the beautifull scenery, or worse, trip and fall? Do you halt and wait for help that might not come? My wearied mind needs, whoever that wants to take this path with me, not another like-minded person, but one who understands that she doesn’t have to understand everything, instead, just allow me to lead her to our destination…

Boring post

2007-04-21T07:57:00.000-07:00

Wah, I think I’m gona have a really bad sore throat. I mean, I’m having a bad sore throat now and it doesn’t feel like it’s gona get better, so there, it’ll get really bad, really soon.
——
I always suspect that these open-concept karaoke halls have assisted the spread of flu virus in the 21st century. Here’s why: An infected person sings to the microphone and the saliva with the virus is passed on to subsequent mouths, which touch the microphone. I always get a sore throat after a K-session, especially when I’m a mic-hog. Well, you can’t blame me, Charles doesn’t sing (unless when he’s drunk), Keegan doesn’t sing when he’s drunk (and he gets drunk pretty fast), and the rest of the guys are more pool playing than song singing people.
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Anyway, there was a surprise guest last night, Yixian, a basket-baller turned pilot friend for ours. It was a pity Ah ming and Roland wasn’t around, it would have been so nice to talk about our basket ball days over beer. So much have changed ever since those rigorous training days, yet it seems so…stagnant at times…
——
Life passes you by real quickly and too quietly if you ask me. At the end of everyday, I ask myself, “Have I fulfilled my purpose in life?” I never could answer this question…Hopefully one day, I can.

GST

2007-04-10T07:54:00.000-07:00

So GST’s going up north along with civil servant’s pay rise. Coincidental? Maybe. Justifiable? Yes. Good timing? No.

——-

As much as I do not agree with everything the government does, I also do not oppose them for the sake of opposing, unlike many people. What is the point of A suggesting and B opposing while A opposes to everything B says. Success should be a collective effort of everyone and we could start by agreeing with the government, not opposing, let the opposition party keep them in check instead.

——-

Look around you, how far have we progressed? The government has done a fine job of leading us to where we are at now and boy, how ungrateful some people are. Even if the pay revision is not an effort rendered to retain local talents, I still think that our civil servants could do with higher salaries. Others may argue, hey, crimes’ low, economy is in order, most things are in place, so that leaves nothing much for the government to do but should it not be that good foundation has been laid way before we are at where we are now? In many cases, just because component X (GST) and component Y (salary) move along the same line, does not mean that they are correlated. It could be a reaction to a component Z (unknown). Although a GST hike may cause a backlash among the unhappy citizens, it is here to stay, get used to it. Still unhappy with the salary revision? Go join the civil service.

Home

2007-03-25T07:53:00.000-07:00

Nothing smells like home. What does home smells like? Home smells like comfort, home smells like a good night rest, home smells like dryness after you have been out in the rain. Home smells familiar, home pleases my senses, home smells like reality, home permits you to be who you really are and being at home make you the person you are at ease with and not the person others want you to be. Home smells like serenity, home smells safe, home smells like a shelter which nurses the part of you that’s been beaten by the storm.

——-

I was drenched. At 6.30am, I was drenched. Drenched is when even your underwear is wet. Most of you sleepyheads were still in dreamland as I was caught in an uncompromising torrent, one which had made me feel vulnerable, one which had made me regret having drank and drove(and losing my driving license as a result), one which had made me feel…human.

——-

Had I have any luck, my cell phone’s battery wouldn’t have run out on me. Connection was lost, I was alone at a bus stop, help was not readily present and I jolly well knew that I had made that decision, a predicament that I had chosen yet not regretted. However resourceful I had been, the many friends I had had, the amount of bills in my wallet, the PSP in my bag, all didn’t matter much at that very moment because I was on my own.

——-

I had to walk to a petrol station with the downpour slapping on my back, my bag felt heavier than usual, my mood was dimmer than ever, I felt so distant from reality although that probably WAS one of my closest ever from reality. “Never live in denial” as my friend, Charles, always says, but aren’t we, all the time? The HUGO BOSSes, the streaked hair, the NIKE sneakers, the MONT BLANCs, the XBOXes with their virtual realities, mobile phones with emoticons that are ever ready to present the world with their best J/L/;)/:p/:,( and the ARMANI shirt that tells people who you’re not and hid you from the fact that you were born nude.

——

Upon reaching the petrol kiosk, I gave my best smile to the auntie behind the counter and said,”Could you please call me a cab, my cell phone has run out of battery?”(The actual sentence was, “my phone no batt, can help me call cab?”). Unsympathetically, the auntie said,” Sorry, you have to call yourself.” Of which I did, I said,” Hey Darren!” Obviously I made up that last sentence, what she meant was for me to call for the cab by my own means, with my bloody own phone which I had made known to her to be dead in the first place! I then proceeded to the back of the counter, snatched her phone, made a call, waited for a cab and arrived home safely.

——-

Alright I’ve lied again; I didn’t have the guts to do that, I said ok and left. Looking into the mirror, I would have felt sorry for me, she was just jealous, f%*k. Back in the rain I walked, determined to brave the harsh condition, I had good thoughts. I thought of home…and how nice it would be to be there in the next couple of hours perhaps and almost immediately, help came in the form of a green-lighted cab. Wow, thank god! Home was what I had wished for, home was what I would be getting.

——-

On my way back, I thought I had to pen this down. Once I was home, I checked my underwear, yea indeed it was wet. Saying “I was caught in the rain” definitely doesn’t beat saying “My underwear was wet in the rain”, so now there’s an added incentive to wearing it more often, just kidding la. Well the ordeal lasted for maybe slightly more than an hour but it has taught me lots. Probably the single most important lesson learnt was……bring a damn umbrella next time you idiot.

It's a game? Or not?

2007-03-13T07:53:00.000-07:00

Ever been to a carnival? What do you call that event which you tie 2 persons’ (normally a couple) legs, right to the left, together, and they try to outrun another few couples for the Grand Prize of a nicely wrapped-up mug? Especially at those family carnivals, this event would be a must-have. It is a simple game; both have to coordinate well, adjust to each others’ pace, understand the terrain, communicate efficiently and do whatever it takes (hop, run, walk etc) to get to the other end and back.

————

The male, being the heavier and taller one, would sometimes have to lean on the physically weaker female to keep their balance. The faster male would feel the resistance of the slower female, at the same time the slower female would feel the faster male’s pull, both would get exhausted by each others’ speed or the lack of it. They would both perspire under the blazing sun, cheered on by the spectators around them who have witnessed it all much clearer than themselves. It is a pity the spectators can’t participate as they would be thinking that they could have done a much better job than the participants, or would they have? Maybe the male would blame the female for moving too slowly but could it be that the male was moving too fast and vice versa? Both of them, under the same circumstance and condition, feel differently, so is anyone to be blamed? Frustration is part of the game. Failure is NOT a certainty. Winning ugly may be acceptable too. At least, some get to the finish line, Top 3 or not, it doesn’t matter, the essence of it, is only the completion. Well, that’s love…for me.

Paint

2007-03-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

Have you tried painting your room? Well, don’t! It’s d*%m tiring, time-consuming, not to mention...frustrating! I got stuck in a pointless conversation with a friend which went like this: “Hey bud, I’m trying to paint my room but the colour gets uneven if I do it too fast and”, Mr. Bud interrupts: “What colour?”, to which I replied: “Blue. And if I do it too slow it...”, Mr. Bud interrupts again: “What shade?”, I said: “Blue la, and it’s very tiring if I do it too slow so I think...”, Mr. rude Bud, once again, not at all sensing the urgency, said: “Which shade of blue?”, I ended the call immediately. Does it matter which shade of blue I painted my room in? Ok, just for your information, the tin read “Blue Lagoon” and I know you still don’t have a idea what shade that is! I mean, how blue is “Navy Blue” and how “Navy” is “Navy Blue” actually? Whose navy by the way? Singapore’s or USA’s? We probably perceive “Navy Blue” differently then.

The paint which I bought was the cheapest of all and do you know what that means? It means that I’m not protected from, algae, fungus, fading, chalking, bacterials, water, my “matt finish” is not contemporary enough, does not cover hairline cracks well, is not Ammonia-free, is not heavy metal free, has odour etc! Haha, like I care?! $36 per tin VS $65 per tin, it’s a no-brainer! Duh.

There used to be this trick question(tricky for me coz I was stupid!) in Mathematics: “If one painter takes 10hours to paint a room, how many hours will it take for 2 painters to paint a room?”, I used to gave the answer as 5 hours and no wonder I always got 99marks for my test papers, because it was WRONG! It took 2 painters 12hours to paint the room and why is that so? The other painter was sitting in the middle of the room fidgeting with her phone and blocking the more competent painter’s way. In conclusion, I would have been better off had I done it on my own. Hence, 2 competent painters = 5hours/room whereas 2 incompetent painters = very long and 1 competent painter + 1 phone meddler in a painter’s suit and hat = infinity.

The name of the above-mentioned has been changed to protect Priscilla Huang Lijuan’s identity. :p

知福惜福、活在当下

2007-02-15T07:51:00.000-08:00

往往许多人在抉择伴侣时，容易东想西想，不知所措，就是因为害怕一时做错决定，看错人，造成终生的遗憾。
诺贝尔文学奖得主萧伯纳说：「此时此刻在地球上，约有两万个人适合当你的人生伴侣，就看你先遇到哪一个，如果在第二个理想伴侣出现之前，你已经跟前一个人发展出相知相惜、互相信赖的深层关系，那后者就会变成你的好朋友，但是若你跟前一个人没有培养出深层关系，感情就容易动摇、变心，直到你与这些理想伴侣候选人的其中一位拥有稳固的深情，才是幸福的开始，漂泊的结束」
爱上一个人不需要靠努力，只需要靠「际遇」，是上天的安排，但是「持续地爱一个人」就要靠「努力」，在爱情的经营中，顺畅运转的要素就是沟通、体谅、包容与自制(面临诱惑��所自制)。有许多人总��为「际遇」所迷惑与��恼，意念不停、欲念��断、争逐不散，而忘��培养经营感情的能力��是幸福的关键。
所以不要去追问到底谁才是我的Mr. or Ms. Right，而是要问说在眼��的伴侣关系中，我能��力到什么程度、成长��什么程度，若没有培��出经营幸福的能力，��算真的 Mr. or Ms. Right出现在你身边，幸��依然会错过的，而活��犹疑与遗憾当中，这��就是许多「爱情虚无��」的遭遇与心态吗？
若你此刻已有一位长久相伴的伴侣，不要再随便三心二意地犹疑了，我们往往不易察觉感情中的一个陷阱，就是「近亲生慢侮」，也就是经济学中的铁律「边际效益递减法则」，跟你在一起越久的人，就越容易麻木与忽视，而新鲜的「际遇」总是那么动人可爱。
在感情对待中，难免有摩擦与无心的伤害，而且论得罪自己的次数累加起来最多的人，当然是跟我们在一起最久、最亲近的人。而新欢呢，又还没开始有得罪你的机会，再加上他的刻意讨好，所以新欢怎么看怎么可爱，旧爱怎么看怎么讨厌。
但别忘了，新欢身上总是有不确定的未知数，旧爱身上就是有难得的熟悉感、确定感、信赖感。千万不要随便在偶然的「际遇」中迷失了自己，错放了幸福温暖的手。
所以萧伯纳的话，是要提醒情人不要太钻牛角尖于寻觅那唯一，应该把精神用在学会经营幸福的能力上，同时也提醒我们「溺水三千只取一瓢饮」若有幸遇到了难得的伴侣，就不要再三心二意了，因为我们永远不知道一生何时会遇到两万个其中的几个，所以要知福惜福、活在当下

4.08am and I miss you.

2007-02-15T04:08:00.000-08:00

4.08am and I miss you.

How do we judge people? By their appearances? Or is it the way they conduct themselves? By their background? We’re constantly exposed to others’ judgement, whether we like it or not, some good, some bad, some just plain terrible. I’ve a feeling you know i’m only gona talk about the “plain terrible” ones.

I’ve been called names, by someone whom, I’m starting to doubt, “understands” me. Self-centred, spoilt-brat, bla bla bla lalala etc. I’m not gona go through the whole incident here but yes, I admit I was partly at fault and no, I was NOT entirely wrong. Circumstances changed, I reacted with what I thought was right, to make someone dear to me feel better, and at the same time, not compromising on another’s feeling. I thought she would understand abit, I thought she would accept my explanation, obviously, I miscalculated.

I have to apologise for spoiling your V-day, then again, with someone you love, any other day is V-day, I want to choose our own V-day and call it the We-day and no, it will not be on the 14 Feb. It will be on the 19 Feb and that’s a more significant day for me...us…

I will wait for you at the airport, if you do not wish to turn up, I will go alone.

Merry Xmas!

2006-12-17T07:50:00.000-08:00

Merry Xmas everyone! “Have yourself a merry lil xmas....” This song has been going on and on in my mind with such consistency that I have to say, not wanting to sound too much like Kylie, I just can’t get it out of my head! It’s one of my favourite Xmas songs though.

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Good mood, festive mood, whatever you may call it, I’m happy!

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This has to be one of the few occasions when I blog when I’m not feeling down. Who blogs when they’re not feeling down anyway? When you’re happy, naturally, you would meet up with some friends whom you should have met up with less often, you go for a few rounds of beer, you get high and start behaving like happy kids. On the contrary, when you’re feeling down, you would meet up with some friends whom you should have met up with more often, you go for a few rounds of beer, you get high and start behaving like sad kids AND you start blogging! You see! Am I right or are you wrong?

————

Religious agenda aside, it is strange how different people react to Xmas. Xmas is about hope, it’s about the anticipation of what’s about to come and most importantly it’s about a closure, a closure of what the year has brought to you or taken away from you. Bitter sweet, I say. It’s about forgiveness, it’s about being big-hearted and most of us try to be selfless during this period. Gifts,

Turkeys
, wine and dine, elaborated Xmas cards, best behaviors, caroling etc… All the good things in life… Ah, and there is Santa! By now, most, if not all, would have known that Mr. Santa is unreal, you’re better off believing David Blaine levitation trick (Yes, it’s a trick I’ve yet to figure).

————

I celebrate Xmas as a day of fun and joy, not as a day of the birth of Christ, although many believed it to be, where in the bible mentioned it anyway? Well, think I shall not dwell on this any further. I do know of some people who get pre/post Xmas depression, probably because they expected too much out of Xmas and didn’t get back as much. So during Boxing Day, they would go like, “Is that it? Xmas is over but I don’t feel slightly better than I was few days ago…Hmm maybe New Year will be better, so lets just wait a few more days.” Maybe that’s why the suicidal rate on New Year’s day has been the highest, coz these people still hadn’t experience that change that they were yearning for. Hey, it’s not that I have no sympathy over suicidal people, but isn’t it pathetic that most of these people were perfectly normal beings, no physical or mental disabilities (I said MOST), who thought themselves to be dealt with unfairly by life. I can’t say I’ve lots of experience but enough to say that in life, you gain some, you lose some.

————

On Xmas eve, I’m gona toss all my priorities aside and enjoy myself! Merry Xmas!

1 + 1 = Ouch!

2006-11-29T07:49:00.000-08:00

Hey, it’s me again, here to update you on my pessimistic view of life! Hence the melancholy mood always while I’m blogging.

Question of the day: What happens when 2 individuals with very different perspectives of life, different priorities in life, same stubbornness and uncompromising attitude meet and become an item? How do you get used to that? Do you give in? Is she likely to even think about giving in?

Whenever things get rough and I feel a surge of anger building up, I would try to control myself until the anger overwhelms me and I would say things only to regret it 0.65sec later. Still I know I would say that the next time we get into a fight, and the next, and the next, and the next… I can bet you she feels the same way too.

We’re like 2 porcupines, the tighter we hug, the sharper our bristles are felt, the deeper the wound, the more painful it gets, nobody wants to let go, even when both are bloodied and battered. Now I’m unsure, I’m unsure because of the things she says, I’m unsure because of the things she does, I’m unsure because I’m no longer sure of her commitment… or perhaps it’s mine…

I’m almost bruised and beaten; I’m almost fragile and frail; I’m almost hurt yet hopeful; I’m almost resigned but really trying my best not to crumble. Almost… but not quite yet… I need some opinions pls.

Placebo, me...

2006-09-18T13:30:00.000-07:00

Placebo: 1) a medication prescribed more for the mental relief of the patient than for its actual effect on a disorder; 2) an inert or innocuous substance used especially in controlled experiments testing the efficacy of another substance (as a drug).

My thoughts:

Placebo is a very common term seen in health magazines, especially when health studies are concerned. In laymen’s term, your existence is merely for the purpose of determining how “the others“(those who actually matter) measure up against you, you are nothing, of no relevance, your only significance being your worthlessness because that is the only way “the others” put you down and destroy you which, ironically wouldn’t materialise as you are but an empty shell. How do you destroy an empty shell?

My life:

In more ways than one, I see myself as a placebo, a negligible part of an important test, indispensable nevertheless. I play the part of a curious bystander, wondering when that light would shine upon me one day if it ever will. I’m silently observing the people, the main casts of life, as they steadily cruise to the top, in one swift and rapid motion, sweep off all obstacles that stand in their way. Effortless.

My future:

One day, I want to be amongst the Elites, till then I shall be my placebo. An empty shell, yea, knock me hard enough, I’m going to send out a deafening bang so loud you would think twice the next time you try to step on my tail.

Wicked indulgence...

2006-09-18T07:47:00.000-07:00

Chilli crabs. One of my few unhealthy indulgences, I could never resist a plate of chilli crabs, I could never resist anything from my brother-in-law’s kitchen. That was last night’s dinner, served with beef pasta(I’m sure there’s a more complicated name to this dish coz anything this good, does!). I even brought home another serving of the pasta for this morning’s breakfast which, I finished promptly as supper last night. Very fattening...lor! Very delicious...lor!

Oh in case you don’t know, my Brother-in-law is the Award-winning Chef Anderson Ho, author of two cook books, 2nd placed in the World Culinary Olympics 2000, co-owner of Le-Papillon and he can make a meal out of anything, well, almost. My sis never regained her weight since…

“Trained by European master chefs in contemporary French cuisine during his time at the world-renowned Raffles Hotel and well-versed in the use of Eastern ingredients, Anderson Ho enjoys exciting tastebuds with his unique recipes. Internationally recognised for his inventive culinary skills, Anderson was awarded an Individual Gold Award at Food Asia 2000. As Executive Sous Chef of the Singapore National Culinary Team, he helped the Singapore team garners its best ever placing in the IKA Culinary Olympics 2000. In recent years, Anderson has been invited to international food promotion events like Festival Gastronomico International 2001 in Spain, where he was the only chef from the Far East, and Davidoff Gourmet Festivals in Sylt and Berlin, Germany in 1999.”

http://www.chubbyhubby.net/2006/06/le-papillon.html

Live crabs are tough animals, literally and characteristically. Their hard shells make slaughtering them a demanding, not to mention time-consuming, effort and after one is in 7 pieces, they(7 pieces!) tried to crawl in separate direction still, the parts without legs attached to it would be pumping, in pain I supposed. Cruel! Terribly garang! Messy affair! Aiyo, I still prefer cooked crabs :) Just pretend crabs are always born cooked and chilli-ed, eliminate a great deal of guilt felt...The very least I could do was not to waste them...lor!

Low Point

2006-08-28T07:43:00.000-07:00

Hi again, haven been updating my blog often. Sigh, when I thought it cldnt get any worse, it juz did.

Im probably at the lowest point of my life right now. Shit happened(Part 1 was out of pure suayness and part 2 was out of pure stupidity) and i only have myself to blame. In a time like this, people wld only like to see someone who mite juz give them abit of hope or else they stay isolated altogether. Foolishness, irresponsibility, u name it. Get me out of this soon…

Yes, admit it, learn from it, dun commit the same mistake again…

放手

2006-05-16T07:41:00.000-07:00

歌曲：放手歌手：汪佩蓉

走吧放心欢喜享受
你想要的生活
对我你不须感到对我
亏欠了我什么
刚分手当然有伤痛
只是我没想过
它会so so so strong oh baby~
但我很高兴你能够
诚实面对自己选择你要的梦

谢谢你在我生命的驻留
直到你离开我
我会记得这些年爱得那么浓
我会将这一份爱保留在心中

坦然的面对你要的自由不用太担心我
我一定会好好过
不想那么多

我一定会好好过我会好好过

纵然心中还有好多不舍
我还是会放手

两只刺猬的故事

2006-03-31T07:38:00.000-08:00

Extracted from Boey's blog:

"我有许多故事，其中一个，是关于两只刺猬的故事。

在最寒冷的日子，两只刺猬，在一起。

冷的时候，它们便抱在一起，互相取暖。

可是它们身上都有刺，锋利，尖锐。抱在一起的时候便会疼。

可是它们还是抱在一起了。

也许。仅是因为冷。

它们被彼此扎的遍体鳞伤，也被彼此扎的遍体鳞伤。没有谁是完好的。

可是，它们还是抱在一起。

也许。真的仅是因为冷。

我的故事。讲完了。这就是两只刺猬的故事。

我没有给别人讲过这故事的结局。以前，我一直不知道。结局究竟是什么样子。

也许，是天晴了，两只刺猬不冷了。于是它们各自转身离开了。。

也许，是天太冷，彼此体温太微弱。于是两只刺猬都冻死了。

也许，是刺得太痛，两只刺猬都受不了了，宁可冻死也不再抱着了。

那天，我问他，两只刺猬的故事。结局是什么？

会不会是其中一只刺猬得到了一件棉袄。它不冷了。于是，就不再需要抱抱。便离开了。。

他说。不会。

即便，是遍体鳞伤。即便，是撕心裂肺痛彻心扉。

死。也要抱在一起。

死。也要死在彼此怀中。

这是21岁的童话。最后的童话。

而今。我终于知道，两只刺猬故事的结局。没有谁死。

亦或许，都死了。。"

Love at 1st sight? possible?

2006-03-17T07:12:00.000-08:00

Read a blog entry on the topic, “Look at 1st sight”...Is it possible? Nah i dun tink so, but i tink the phrase has been misunderstood.

“Love at first sight” is never what it may have sounded like: an over-beautified, Hollywood-induced, seemingly impossible fairytale-like plot.

A desperate attempt to glorify the encounter at most.

More often than not, it wld mean a desire to develope that attraction/emotional bond or the lack of it, into something deeper and stronger or into “love” as what many wld call it, be it platonically or physically.

Like a good politician, rejection and acceptance are never right OR wrong, yet always right AND wrong.

A day to remember...

2005-10-17T07:04:00.000-07:00

16 Oct 2005 is a day for me to remember...its a day before Im scheduled to go back to Singapore after one and a half month of hard work and boredom, a day before I can see my family and frenz again, a day before life resumes to normal day to day luxuries and freedom...its also a day my grandpa took his last breath, ended his final chapter of his life, a life shared by himself and my grandma whom, is currently still recovering from a stroke. A day i failed to witness. As what my mum told me, never had my grandpa ever raised his voice or quarrelled with my grandma in their 50+ years of marriage. The way he whispered her name in that kind of tone would make many ppl blush, juz like many young couples, the difference being, grandchildren like myself were there to witness it. That was b4 any of them was ill. Cancer is a very painful disease. It doesnt have to kill u to take away ur life. The ability to live a life is long gone b4 u lose it. The disease didnt care if he’s been a faithful husband and wonderful dad to 8 children when the odds were against him, or when he eventually succeeded and was able to provide his children comfortable lives after years of hard work, day and nite. The last time i was alone with him in his front yard, he said to me, “So this is how being ill feels like, I duno if i will recover...Will I? If i dun, cld u visit ur grandma more often?”...I promise i will, but u’ve taken a part of her with u...Till we meet again, Love, grandson Yiwen.

Here i am

2005-09-29T07:11:00.000-07:00

I duno how the others did it coz i’ve absolutely nothing to write abt!! Kindly drop me some hints will u all? I mean, y do u ppl have extra-ordinary encounters everyday while poor me only live an exceptionally-ordinary life? It aint fair! Let me try.....ok last nite at the gym, i met tis micky guy who tried to screw up my chest and tricep and he succeeded! I woke up tis morning with muscle ache all, it felt good though. Well i mus agree tat his one nice n helpful guy, maybe juz abit too enthusiastic abt working out, n tat almost killed me!! haha!! ok la...tats all, tis sucks, i’ll try again...byebye ppl!

Will you pick up my pieces?

Finally

Beijing Olympics 2008

Have you done enough today?

evoL

To my beloved Ah Ma...

Me

Pain

RIP

Crossroad

Boring post

GST

Home

It's a game? Or not?

Paint

知福惜福 、活在当下

4.08am and I miss you.

Merry Xmas!

1 + 1 = Ouch!

Placebo, me...

Wicked indulgence...

Low Point

放手

两只刺猬的故事

Love at 1st sight? possible?

A day to remember...

Here i am

知福惜福、活在当下