Finally

Hey all, I have finally managed to import my blogs from Friendster, an act I had procrastinated doing for a long long time. Well, it’s not exactly completed and in order but that’s the best I could do, considering some posts were deleted away without my notice. Blogging, to me, is like a way to express thoughts and feelings for a period and also a fine way to do a recap, should your memory fail you one day. It almost always make me feel better, as if I am telling my life story to many people at one time, although it may not be the case. Thats besides the point.

Beijing Olympics 2008

We were the only non-Malaysian singers to hav featured in the Malay version of 2008 Beijing Olympic Theme Song!
Enjoy! Feel so honoured to have being invited!

Have you done enough today?

Of recent, I feel that I’ve wasted a part of my life doing absolutely nothing of significance. The worst of it all, I dun remember most part of it. Life makes a habit of passing you by if you’re not careful enough, just as these few weeks have done for me. I used to nag at friends who seemed to have done nothing all the time but play, I used to remind them to learn something new everyday, to remember a new name perhaps, notice a new person...to be more aware of the surroundings and whatever was happening, be it of importance or not, to WANT TO progress in a positive and right direction. Well, dun get me wrong, I have never tried to get ahead of myself, or to push myself beyond my compabilities, however i feel i’ve slackened such a great deal that I find it hard to mentally bring myself up. I will from now on and I know how to. The best of it all is that i’ve met some nice and crazy frenz! :) Dun let today be your wasted tomorrow.

evoL

Sometimes I want to try
Sometimes its hard to cry
Sometimes words betray the mind
Sometimes love detests the lies

A wise man once said how “love is blind”
“It strenghtens the weak, it transcends time”
“Love can move mountains, never let it pass u by”
Wise as he might have been, he only lived one fucking life.

Darren

To my beloved Ah Ma...

I used to massage for my Ah Ma (Grandma) when I was a child and she, younger. There was one instance where I thumped on her thigh too hard and she said,” So hard for what, you’ll kill Ah Ma by doing that!”, of which I replied,” No la, Ah Ma will never die!” What did a child like me know about living, not to even mention dying. I didn’t believe people close to me would die, well perhaps, but then probably not. No, my immediate family members would never die, or so I thought.
Ah Ma used to call my house (She was staying beside me), and my sis would tell me, “Ah Ma’s voice so loud, oso dun need to use the phone lo.” And we would secretly laugh.
The 1st day the stroke happened, she couldn’t open her eyes nor speak but she could response by gripping with her right hand. It grew progressively worse from then on. The grip was weaker, followed by only some little head movement which we couldn’t be sure if they were responses at all. She left on 2nd Feb, 6.45am.
There I stood, with Ah Ma’s coffin inching closer to the furnace, I realized only till then that I was gona lose her forever, that she wouldn’t be coming back, that I wouldn’t be hearing the voice which I’ve grown so accustomed to. I looked at all the sad faces around me, all the people whom Ah Ma had touched and had a part in their lives. She played the part of a mother, a great grandmother, a dedicated housewife; she was a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend…She was my Ah Ma.
If only Ah Ma could hear me, I would tell her, I can handle the pain so just leave in peace, coz there’s a dark, handsome and tall man waiting for you there, dun keep Ah Gong waiting for so long…Bye Ah Ma, I love you too. Oh btw, I’m gona miss your CNY steamboat.

Me

When the lights go out, in the stillness of the night, I pray for the morning. It’s tough to fall asleep in the night. It’s hard to remove the traces, every little thing meant something. I beg “me” to cry, “me” holds back its tears, “me” wants to be brave, it’s brave to bear with the unbearable. Either u try to sleep or u wait for dawn, or u even may cry too, it’s ok to cry sometimes.

Pain

Year 2008…Is it a good start? Not for me. I’ve not experienced such pain for a long time. I tried not to break down yet the emotion was too much to handle. I prayed to God to relieve me of this pain I’m going through. Every passing minute hurts, when I bathe, when I eat, when I watch TV. I’ve told myself, the last time it happened, that I would keep away from such sadness and would never let it anywhere near me, ever again. Now it’s back. I promised myself that I would be happy, I broke that promise. I’m struggling so hard; whatever that’s holding on to me is going to snap. I’m trying to remember how I got over it previously, no answers are coming my way. I’m overwhelmed. I’m breaking down. Please take away my pain…